Maddie’s Story

I received a Love Box the day before my scheduled abortion. I got pregnant during a time when I was living for myself. I was partying, drinking--all the things. I lived a very worldly lifestyle with no fear of consequences. I knew I wasn't living right, but I'd spent so much time trying to be perfect that I reached a point where I just didn't care anymore. Then, I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy.

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Because of my circumstances, I thought that this baby would implode not just my life but everyone around me, too. Abortion felt like the best option. Plus, I had a five-year plan that didn't include having a baby, so my mind was made up.

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I took all the steps required for an abortion. I went to the center, and I did all the things. The last step was to follow through with the procedure, but I needed someone to take me to my appointment and pick me up. The only person who could help me was my sister, an Embrace Grace Alum. When I asked her, she adamantly said, "I don't think you know what you're doing. I think you should reconsider." I asked her, "Are you going to help me or not?" and then she said, "I'll help you."

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What I didn't know was after I asked her to take me to my abortion appointment, she called her group leader and asked her for advice. The leader gave her a Love Box to give me. My sister brought me the Love Box and read the handwritten letter to me because she didn't have any more words of encouragement of her own, but she was determined to continue speaking life into me. Even still, my heart didn't soften. I was having that abortion.

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The night before my scheduled appointment, I couldn't sleep, so I read the book A Bump in Life from cover to cover. Compared to mine, the women's lives in that book seemed so much harder, and I started thinking, if they could do it, then I could too. Before I could process anymore, my alarm went off, and it was time to start my day.

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I continued as if my life wouldn't change in the next 24 hours. But when I got in my sister's car, I broke down in tears and said, "Please don't take me. I don't want to do it." My sister then started crying with me because the Embrace Grace leader had sent out a prayer request on my behalf, and people were praying for me. Once my sister told her I was no longer going through with the abortion, the leader texted me, inviting me to Embrace Grace.

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When I finally told my parents I was pregnant, my dad said, "I know you. You wouldn't have been able to survive an abortion, and I'm proud of you." I wasn't expecting that response. Actually, both my parents were very loving and supportive, so I didn't necessarily feel like I needed the extra community. But I went to the first class, and after hearing Amy's story on video, I knew that Embrace Grace was where I was supposed to be.

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I resonated with her story because I was carrying a lot of shame and guilt when I changed my mind about having an abortion. I kept going to the group because I thought I could get my life together just like Amy did.

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As the weeks went by, I realized that there were so many years of bondage built up over time that had gotten me to where I was. I started to see how the curriculum applied so specifically to my life, and it would wreck me every class.

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I finally got to the point where I asked the Lord to come into my heart for the hundredth time, it seemed like. But that time, it stuck. What helped was being around women who were supportive and helped keep me accountable. Ultimately, I learned that, yes, my son was conceived in a way that I wasn't proud of, but I can still be someone my son is proud of. The only way for me to become that person is through my relationship with Jesus.

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The baby shower at the end of the semester really solidified that God will always love and be with me and provide, even in the moments when I feel the least deserving. Two women from the church that I didn't know adopted me for the baby shower. They loved on me so intentionally that it felt like two strangers sat me down and washed my feet—that moment changed how I would love people forever.

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Embrace Grace has helped not only to increase my faith but also my family's. When my dad saw all the gifts given to me from strangers for my baby, his eyes welled up with tears, and he said, "That's what the church is supposed to look like." It was a full-circle moment for him because his being supportive at the beginning—assuring me everything would work out—was his way of being the provider he always was. This experience showed him that God would provide for his child and grandchild and that we would all be okay.

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What I love most about Embrace Grace is that they didn't just care about my baby; they cared about me. Now, my son is seven years old and the quarterback of his little league football team. He has the Lord in his heart, and he is thriving!

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